Here are some things I’m thinking about this Thursday (and this week)…
I’m focusing on hydrating today! Starting with coffee and water, then moving on to ensure I drink a full 96 ounces of water today…
Diet Pop has been creeping into my life again. I know it’s terrible for you, but it’s SO GOOD and that’s bad…
Other people’s marriages
Our dear friends have been struggling in their marriage for as long as we’ve known them. While my own marriage is by no means perfect, I can see (from few glimpses I have had and from the outside looking in) errors that I’ve made myself. I feel compelled to help — but it’s coming across as meddling and inserting myself where I don’t belong.
This morning, I woke up from dream arguments I’d like to have with her — to get her to see his point of view. That’s when I decided, it’s not my marriage so it’s not my fight. She’s entitled to feel the way she’s feeling and so is he. Who am I to butt in??
My folk’s marriage was far from perfect. They literally didn’t speak the same language from the beginning, so miscommunications happened and they happened frequently. Now, after 30+ years, communication — and assurance of understanding — is a huge priority with the two of them. They make each other a priority, which is really sweet to witness.
My own marriage is far from perfect, but hubby and I have adopted some of the same priorities as other successful marriages — or just things we liked. This includes putting each other first, not going to bed angry, and making sure we are actually understood.
To be a good friend means to listen and be available — I’ve been selfishly/arrogantly trying to “fix” their mess, which is not my job and not my prob.
New plan — pray and listen.
Other people’s kids
Hubby and I only have our fur baby — no human children, yet… But we do have strong opinions about how we would raise our own children, because of my anxiety about it. We’ve had long and detailed discussions because it’s one of the steps I’ve needed to feel better about it. (I’ve gone from “never ever” to “maybe”).
Lately, our dear friends have been more present in our lives (due to my above mentioned arrogance, and butting it…). This means we’ve spent more time with their kids — who are being raised differently that hubby and I were raised.
To be completely fair, all kids are raised differently because we are all unique. Even in the same house with the same parents, individuals will be individuals.
My mother was strict as F*** with me as a kid, more so than with my siblings. Our household maintained some more traditional aspects of Korean life including respecting elders, being seen and not heard, and being very afraid of your parents. While this is not an ideal parenting technique, it meant that we were far from “brats” — at least in public space.
I know this because my mom was constantly complimented in public (grocery stores, salons, doctor’s offices, schools, etc…) about how well behaved we all were. It was fear — to this day I don’t want to make my mom angry EVER! Our soldier like behavior was a point of pride to my mom, so OH BOY did we get it on the very few occasions where we acted up and “embarassed” her. [If you’ve never seen the Joy Luck Club, it provides some insight into this.]
The exposure to other people’s has really been helpful in allowing me to know what I absolutely don’t want in my own family — and what I absolutely do want.
Resting/Healing and Impatience
I haven’t been running due to my side healing — wearing my favorite running sports bra would mean pressure/friction right in the middle of the injury, so I’m supposed to wait until it is completely healed (or two weeks, whichever comes first). This Saturday marks 2 weeks and I’ve been so impatient!
In the meantime, I’m incorporating walking, weight lifting, and yoga (things that don’t cause me to sweat or wear running sports bras…) to keep me from going stir crazy!